Endometiosis & Infertility

I really don’t remember if I have written about this.  I quickly skimmed through my posts and didn’t see anything, but I’m sure I have …but anyways here goes.

Me and Babes tried to conceive naturally for a year before we started going to the fertility clinic.  In total I think we did 8 IUI’s (Intrauterine Insemination) in total.  On the 4th try we were successful and got pregnant and at 10 and a half week we lost the baby.  and on the 8th one, we got pregnant again and we had our beautiful little CP.

During our time at the clinic, we had a lot of tests done.  They were trying to figure out why exactly I wasn’t getting pregnant.  They couldn’t find anything really.  But the doc asked if I would be ok in doing a laparoscopy, and I said yes.  While they did that, the doc then saw that I had endometriosis, so while he was “in there”, he cleaned out what he could.  He told me I was a stage 3, and he hoped that by doing this, it would help me conceive.  And well it helped.  which is good, but he also told me that while I was pregnant the endometriosis would go dormant but as soon as I gave birth, it would come back.

I went to see a doctor last week and we believe that its back, I have all the symptoms.  She is sending me for a special ultra sound, she said this exam will detect endometriotic cysts on my ovaries and depending on the severity of it, she might have to do another laparoscopy.  I have a feeling that it is that, and I would like to talk her into doing the laparoscopy anyways, even if the test doesn’t detect much.

I’m 41, some people might say that’s old, but its not really.  Today people are getting pregnant later in life.  If there is a slight chance that I could possibly get pregnant again, then lets do everything we can.  If she opens me up and sees that its beyond repairable, then fine.  Take out whatever is necessary, I would feel better knowing that we did what we could.  The pain that comes with every time I ovulate, is beyond.  I don’t only have pain but I also feel sick to my stomach.  Then I have pain each time me and babes are “intimate”, then when my period comes.   So I’m in pain for 3-4 days during ovulation, another 3-5 days for my period, that 9 days, sometimes more, and then you add every time we are “intimate”..  And by pain, I mean, I am rolled in a ball, I can’t even get up, major migraines, its unbearable at times.  I also miss work because of it.

It does run in families, my mother had it.  She had us when she was young, but at the age of 30-31, she had to have a hysterectomy because it was so bad.

I would prefer not to have a hysterectomy but at this point, I’m so over being in pain all the time.  I would opt for one, ONLY if I’m at stage 4, which is the last stage, and which also means that its too late.  (from what I hear)

The doctor sent me home with homework, she said that depending on what the exam detects, she suggest I look into the Mirena or the medication Visanne.  Both are a form of birth control, she said that this will help treat the endometriosis.  As you can see, I am 99% against taking birth control, why take BC is there is a chance I can get pregnant again???  But I did read up on both and IF I HAD TO…, here are my thoughts.  Mirena – I have heard so many bad stories about the Mirena that, I am crossing that one off the list…period.  Visanne is a pill you take daily, and its newer so it looks like a better option, but again, I really don’t’ want to take either.  But if it will help with the pain and she absolutely does not want to do a laparoscopy, then what that’s that.  I would have to choose Visanne. (which would kill me inside).

and just to finish off, in case you didn’t get it…

ENDOMETRIOSIS SUCKS BALL!

Thanks for reading

 

Advertisements

Pottery

I LOVED it!  It was sooo much fun.  Frustrating but tons of fun.

Normally when  I do something… anything, my mind wanders and I think of what to make for supper, what to do tomorrow, what I have to bring here, etc.  But during the pottery class, I’m totally focused.  I can’t think of anything else or my “masterpiece” will be ruined.  Its so hard though, you think, “oh, I’ve seen Ghost, this will be nothing”  (HA HA HA) but no… not at all what I was expecting.  But I love it.  Our teacher goes around and looks at our techniques and he looks at me and says, “ok, I don’t know where you got your techniques, but they seem to be working for you”.  Not at all what he showed us.

As I was leaving, I was walking with this lady that’s in the course and she told me that I was very talented, and that she thinks my pieces are the best of the class.  Um, thank you!   Loved to hear that, it just stroked my ego a bit more.

Pictures are to follow soon…

Pottery

Tonight I am starting a pottery class.  Yes, just like the movie “Ghosts”, with the wheel.

I’ve always wanted to give it a try and tonight’s its happening.  Its a 7 week course, and its 2.5 hours every Friday.

I can’t wait to see how I do.  I have no clue what I’m doing.  I’ve never tried it before, so this will be interesting.

Stay tuned for pictures of my projects.

Potty Trained…?

My little CP is potty trained.  But still have accidents here and there.  For the past few months there was pee everywhere.  Yes of course, I would clean after she peed on the floor, or the rug, or Charlie’s bed, or…. the list goes on.  But you can clean until your face turns blue, but I still felt like it wasn’t “clean” enough.

We would go out of the house for example to the mall or the grocery store, and she was fine, she didn’t pee.  She stayed dry, but if we were home, she would pee and after she was done, she would say Pee-pee.  Too late now honey!

There were always towels and paper towels close by in case of emergency.

She could go days with no accidents and then go days with multiple accidents.

So much pee.

Oh pooping!!  she won’t go on her potty.  She refuses to go on the potty.  She always goes in her undies.  So now we know the “position” that she goes in to poop and we go quick and put her on the potty.  Some times we catch her on time and she finishes on the potty but most of the time she’s already done by the time we get to the potty.

When we hear “Maman, pee-pee dans le pot vite vite vite” which means Mommy pee-pee in the potty quick quick quick (just in case you didn’t get that), you have to drop everything that you are doing and run, and make sure she gets to the potty on time.  Fun times!

But I think of it like this… by the time she goes to high school, she will be fully potty trained… I hope.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but what a long freakin’ tunnel.

Back to Reality

I’m so behind…. I got back home Aug 30 and I am just writing now.

We had an awesome time.  I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again, there is never enough time.  I was there for 12 days and I didn’t get to see or do a lot of things that I wanted to do.

I did manage to spend lots of time with my family and we went to the cottage.  So peaceful there.  You can just feel all the stress leave your body.  CP had a blast too.  She loved it at the beach playing in the sand and making castles.  Was a big fan or the water, well it wasn’t the water, it was the tide.  She was a little scared of the water coming in and out.  But at the cottage she was fine in the lake.

She had a lot of play dates too.

Everyday my mom and dad (but mostly dad) would take her for walks outside.  They would go in the garden and she loved picking vegetables, LOVES cucumber and peas.  They would also go in back of my aunts house and pick blueberries.  It was so cute watching them.

The plane ride was ok going there, but coming back was a different story, see it was her nap time and I thought (silly me) that she would nap on me…BUT NO!  She had her own seat so that was nice, but she didn’t want anything at all to do with a nap.  When we finally landed,  Hallelujah!!!

All in all, we had a blast.  I soooo miss my hometown.

Happy Place

Tomorrow I leave for my happy place. Nova Scotia!

I love being “home”, spending time with the family. I Love going for walks on the beach and camping at the cottage.  The smell of both the ocean and the cottage,  relaxes me.  The fresh smell, the outdoors, the smell of the forest….. awwwww….

I’ll be home for a total of 12 days. I wish I could stay longer.

I’m still trying to convince babes to move there, but I’m not having much luck. He hasn’t said a definite “no”, so there might be hopes for a move in the future… fingers and legs crossed.

CP already has 4 play dates set up.

Dear Smokers

Dear smokers,

I am not telling you to quit smoking, if you want to smoke it’s your decision. I personally choose not smoke.  What I’m asking of you is that you don’t stand at the doorways and smoke.  When there is a sign above that says it’s a no smoking area.   I hate it when I am leaving my work building and there are people smoking right there.  I hate it when I come into work and I have to pass right by you, literally maybe a foot from the door I’m walking in, puffing away.  I then smell of smoke and inhale your second hand smoke.

Like I said earlier, you want to smoke, fine, whatever, go smoke. But why can’t you respect the people who don’t smoke, and move to a smoking area and puff your cigarettes… smoke as many as you want.

I feel like I have the right to bitch about this. If I was to walk in where smoking is allowed, then I can’t complain, can’t I?  But you smoke everywhere, anywhere you want.

I want to have healthy lungs, and before you start and say, well this person died of lung cancer and she never smoke a day in her life…. Yes, I know. And its supper sad, I also read of people who lets say worked in a bar, where smoking was allowed until recently, they worked for 20 years. Well that’s 20 years of inhaling second hand smoke.  It might not be smoking but because of the people who smoked that is likely a result of it.  Yes there are cases that people didn’t have to work in an environment like that and they still got lung cancer.  It happens, and unfortunately there is nothing we can do to fully prevent it in those cases, but my opinion is, for me I would like for the smokers to respect the “rules” and smoke in the designated smoking areas, and NOT smoke at the door where people are constantly walking in and out of.

My husband smokes and I hate it, despise that he smokes, but I can’t make it quit, he has to quit for himself and not for me or anyone else. He doesn’t smoke in the house, he goes outside and I try and make it smoke further from the door.   He doesn’t smoke close to me or our little CP.  He would never do that and he knows he’d be a dead man if he smoked with our CP very close by.  He would never hear the end of it.

To conclude, I know I can’t avoid cigarette smoke. All I want is for the smokers to be a little bit more respectful towards us non-smokers.

I will also add that not every smoker does this, I am aiming this bitch session towards those who do.

PS I’m including this link of an article you might want to read

https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/data_statistics/fact_sheets/secondhand_smoke/health_effects/index.htm

Puff way my friend…. but in a designated smoking area,

Me

Hypnotherapy

I have been twirling and pulling out my hair ever since I can remember. A few years ago, I went to see a hypnotherapist, and it actually worked… for a year or 2 and then I started again.  Its pretty bad, I get bald spots from it.

Where does it come from? I have no clue.  I do it, sitting down, standing up, driving, watching TV… I do it all the time. I can’t help myself. I try stopping and then in no time I’m at it again. I have tried so many things, like sitting on my hands and wearing gloves but nothing seems to help…or well stop me.

So last week I went to see another hypnotherapist. I went last Wednesday and so far I haven’t twirled or pulled my hair.  I have 3 sessions with her.  And I will also be receiving an audio recording from her as well.  There will be 2 audios.  One for the morning, a 10 minute, you’ve got this type of thing (I think) and one for at night, another I’ve got this type of audio… again, I think.

I’m going for my second session today. I so want this to work.  I hate always twirling my hair, ok, well I say that and then at the same time, I think it calms me as well.  Like I said, I really have no idea why I do it.

Stay tuned for my progress reports…

McDonalds

I believe I wrote about McFlurries at McDonalds before, but now I want to talk about McDonalds in general.

I USED to like going to McD’s, their fries are so delicious and their Big Macs, well… yummy!

Early this year, they were making the news about how they now have tree nuts, so they can no longer guarantee that there are no traces of nuts in the food. Before I guess, they used to hand a sealed bag with nuts or peanuts, but not anymore.

So now I can’t go. And I read and heard that A LOT of people were upset with them because it was a go-to place when people are in a hurry.  It’s easy to just drive in the drive thru and grab something quick.  A lot of families with family members allergic to either peanuts or tree nuts no longer have that option.

I don’t know why they decided to proceed with having tree nuts on their menu.   I now to go Wendy’s, a baconator is my new favorite.

Not too impressed with McD’s. First they stop making smarties McFlurry and now they have tree nuts.

Do you know how hard it is for someone with allergies to tree nuts, to find a good place to eat? A lot of restaurants are good and they will prepare and cook your meal where there are no tree nuts around. But it’s getting more and harder to find places.  Now a days tree nuts are in everything.

For example, I can’t go to starbucks and grab a muffin, because they have other products with nuts. Nut free bakeries are extremely rare.  I have to make my own cakes and muffins.  But sometimes you are in a rush and it would be sooo freakin’ amazing if I could just stop in and get a little something to eat, like a muffin.

I should also mention that I am not just a little allergic to tree nuts, but anaphylactic. I can die if I were to ingest a tree nut.  Do you know how scary it is when you start to feel your throat close up?  And you try and stay calm because you are having a hard time breathing, but let’s face it, how the heck do you remain calm when you can’t breathe???

It’s extremely scary!!!

Another Lymphatic Massage

I had another lymphatic massage this last weekend. I went to a different place and she did it different this time, well not a lot different just she barely touched me, that’s how soft she was.   The first time, he was gentle, yes but it felt like he was actually massage my lymph nodes, this time was like she was just touching me VERY softly.  VERY VERY softly.

I want to go to my normal massage place and see this one man who’s been doing it for ages. See how he does it.  I would have gone to him first but he was fully booked up.  I should have waited.

The swelling in my arm pits have gone down a bit though, so that’s good.

I’m looking at the man’s schedule (at my regular place) and he doesn’t work weekends, which sucks. On weeknights I like to go home and spend time with my CP.  She’s at daycare all day, so I rush home to be with her.  That’s why my work hours are 7-3.  I would do 6-2 or 6:30-2:30 if I could.

Anyways…. I’ll keep you all posted on my next appointment. I might have to suck it up and go on a week night.